Caustic Page 4

  I finished scrubbing my nails once I was sure that every speck of dirt that had resided under them for the past day was long gone. Today was my day off, but Stan called me in specifically to tend bar. I wondered if he knew that I was hurting for cash. I made my way out to the front of the dining room. The big mahogany bar stretched the entire side of the restaurant, and had a fantastic view of the ocean through the glass wall that sat opposite of where I’d be standing for the next eight hours. I grabbed a cloth and wiped down the bar. There was only one patron at this time of day. A guy named Sal, who came in at least twice a day to have a drink. He was lamenting about how bad the fishing had been so far this year, telling me that he had caught hardly anything, when I noticed a girl walk in.

  She had beautiful long dark hair that sat restlessly just past her shoulders. The ocean breeze made it whip around her face like it was trying to trap her. Her pale skin was in strong juxtaposition to her hair. And, I knew under her sunglasses, she most likely had dark green eyes. Just as her sister had. She was Leia’s twin; I knew it.

  She slowly approached the bar, looking around, like she lost something. But, when her eyes settled on me, suddenly I knew what she was looking for.

  “Ellis? Are you Ellis Waters?”

  I continued to wipe down the bar. “Who’s asking?”

  She lifted her sunglasses so that they sat on top of her head, and I looked into the deep green eyes I knew would be there. There were golden flecks around irises, just like her sister. Though, this girl, her eyes were just a bit darker, so they made the golden specs stand out even more.

  “I’m Skye. I think that Ellis knew my sister, Leia? Do you know where I can find him? It’s very important that I speak with him.” I could hear the anxiousness in her voice, but I wasn’t here to talk about Leia. I left her and that life a long time ago, and I wasn’t about to bring it up again.

  “Sorry, he’s off today. I’ll let him know you stopped by.”

  She chewed on her lower lip, looking like tears might spill from those dark green eyes at any moment. I felt like I’d been punched in the gut, the sinking feeling growing as she put her sunglasses back down, and turned to leave. But I wasn’t going to stop her. The bricks that were sinking in my stomach would go away, and the past that she wanted to know about was buried. I wouldn’t bring it up again.

  I put my head down and found some glasses that needed washing, but, when I expected to hear the bell on the door, I didn’t. I slowly stood back up, and saw her looking at pictures along the wall. Shit. I knew that one of my catches was up there, and with my name. Suddenly, she spun around, and I knew she must’ve found it. She lifted her sunglasses again, and stomped my way. She was going to be persistent. I could tell by the way she squinched up her nose.

  “I thought you said he wasn’t working today.”

  I cocked my head at her. “I can neither confirm nor deny what I said. But, Ellis Waters is supposed to be off today. He’s not even on the schedule.”

  She folded her arms across her chest. “Then, why is Ellis Waters standing directly in front of me?”

  Touché. “Because I got called in. But, listen, I don’t know anything about your sister. And I’m not some guy who likes to bring up the past. And as pretty as you are, I know what Leia was like. And I don’t want anything to do with her anymore.”

  She sat down on bar stool right in front of me. “You and me both. You probably actually know better than I do, since she wanted me dead and everything.”

  I set down the glass. “She told you that?”

  She opened up the purse that had been sitting just above her hip, and pulled out one of what I knew was Leia’s journals. She never went anywhere without those things. “I read it. I know the two of you are close, and I know she wanted to kill me. Yet, here I am looking for her.”

  I squinted at her trying to understand, “But, why? Why not just let her be?”

  “My grandfather. He’s dying. And his death wish is to see both of his girls together again.” She shrugged, looking defeated.

  “How about a drink?”

  She perked up a little, her eyes widening, “So, you’ll help me?”

  I shook my head at her. “No, I’ll pour you a drink, and then send you on your way. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”

  She set her lips into a thin line, the once pouty roundness gone. “Fine. I’ll take a Jack and Coke, heavy on the Jack, light on the Coke.”

  I nodded and set about making the drink. I stole glances at her over my shoulder as I put the ice in the glass and poured in the liquid. She was intoxicatingly beautiful. Just like Leia had been, but something was different. I didn’t know if it was my age, or the fact that she was more stable than her sister, but something about her drew me in more than it ever had with Leia. Maybe it was just the fondness of memories with her sister. But, the look on her face told me there was something else.

  NINE

  SKYE

  I watched him. I watched him clean the bar again and again. I watched as he pretended not to notice me, but he couldn’t help it. I looked so much like her. But, there were things about him that I noticed, too. Like the way his bangs kept falling into his eyes, and how he brushed them away without thinking about it. Like how the scars in his arms were probably from his childhood, and how he didn’t even seem to notice them anymore. They were just a part of him and, like his dark gray eyes, they told more of story than any other part of him. He had been hurt, broken. I knew that feeling. Probably not as well as he did, though. I took my drink, and I found the corner of the bar at a small table by myself. I looked out the window as often as I could, but, most of the time, I spent looking for more information about Ellis Waters on the Internet. I sat there for hours, just waiting for him to break. I knew at some point he would have to talk to me. I ordered drink after drink, finally taking a break from my alcohol for a sandwich around midafternoon. I was one of the only people in the bar, and business was obviously slow. A few locals drifted in and out whom he would make small conversation with, but, every time they left, he would look over to the corner and make eye contact with me.

  Finally, he walked over with a small plate, and sat down next to me. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

  “No,” I said, even though my resolve was wavering. Too many drinks, and not enough food.

  “Fine,” he sighed as he climbed onto the stool next to me. “I brought you a brownie. Mary, the owner’s wife, makes them. They’re out of this world.”

  The chocolate looked incredible, but I didn’t want to take anything from him. I had nothing to offer in return. Sitting here for hours, the only thing that crossed my mind was that I came here looking for something from him, with nothing to offer. And that wasn’t fair.

  “It’s okay, I’m not hungry.” A lie, and I also felt drunk. He kept swaying in and out of focus, even though I knew he was sitting still. Too many Jack and Coke’s, especially the way I liked them.

  “You have to eat something. You’ve been drinking for six hours. That half a sandwich isn’t going to save you later.”

  “Fine. Thank you.” I took a bite, and he was right; it was heavenly: smooth chocolate melting in my mouth, and flowing down my throat almost as if it had become liquid. “This is amazing. This has to be one of your best sellers.”

  He smiled. “That’s the last one we’ve got. She makes about six-dozen every day, and, even on slow days, they sell. They’re kind of a legend around here.”

  I looked around me. “And, where is here exactly? I mean, I just followed my GPS.”

  “This is Fairmont, a small fishing town. As you know, we’re about a half an hour off the highway. Not always a great place for tourists unless they want something quiet. Which most of them do who come here, or they come for a fishing excursion. I worked on a couple boats in the past, and summer is really busy around here.”

  I nodded, licking the extra chocolate off my lips. I needed to say something; I just didn’t know how to say it. I took a
deep breath and just let it out. “I’m really sorry.”

  He squinted at me, his dark gray eyes displaying pure confusion. “About what?”

  “About me coming here. Just springing this on you. I’m sure I could’ve found your number, called or something. But, I’m kind of on borrowed time here. I need to find her.”

  I don’t know if it was something about the pleading in my voice, or the fact that I might remember none of this tomorrow, but his shoulders slumped as he finally caved. “You know I was in there? In the institution?”

  I chewed on my lower lip nervously. The truth was, I did know, thanks to Leia’s journals, but it wasn’t my business. I decided to lie. Not a great way to start a friendship, but it felt like the easiest way to do this. “Not really. I mean I read parts in her journal, but they weren’t very informative.”

  I watched as heavy shoulders as they crumbled closer into his body. “I lived there for a while. My mom was killed, and I saw it happen. I was a really angry kid, and I didn’t have any family, so that’s where I wound up. After I was old enough to leave, I checked myself out, and came here. The owner of this restaurant and his wife helped me get set up.”

  I looked around the restaurant again. Pictures hung from the wall, showing smiling faces of fishermen with their prizes. But there was also plenty of group shots too, friends just having good time. “It’s cute.”

  He nodded. “It’s home.”

  “So, how well did you know my sister before coming here?”

  He licked his lips, drawing me further into him. I shouldn’t be sitting here, thinking about what he would look like with his clothes off, but damn if I wasn’t. With his wide chest and chiseled arms, he could do wonders for the girl like me. But, I had to turn my brain off, that wasn’t why I was here. No matter what the Jack and Coke wanted me to think.

  “She and I were close.” He put up his hands in protest. “Close like friends. She was probably my best friend in that place. For two years, she and I spent all of our time together, but we both had our own demons. People like that shouldn’t be friends. That’s why, when I checked out, I made sure to get into a different group therapy clinic, and I made sure I wouldn’t see her again.”

  “So, you haven’t seen her, then?”

  “I didn’t say that. I made every attempt for her not to find me, but, about a year ago, she showed up on my doorstep, not much unlike you’re doing today. She only needed a place to crash for the night. I let her stay, but, in the morning, when I wanted to get information out of her, she just laughed. She was gone as quickly as she came.”

  Somehow, this little piece of information gave me a flicker of hope. He had seen her, so at least that put some of my more serious fears to rest. As of a year ago, my sister wasn’t dead. “Do you talk to her? Or have you heard from her at all since then?”

  He pulled out his cell phone from his back pocket, placing on the table. “I have a number for her. She left it with me before she went wherever she was going. But I haven’t called it, not once. And she hasn’t contacted me either. I can give you the number, but that’s really the best I can do.”

  I pulled out my own phone, only a few minutes left in the battery, but it was enough to make a call. “What’s the number?” I said, as I clutched the tiny mechanical object in my hands like it was a lifeline. This was my chance; this was exactly what I had come for.

  He read the number aloud, as I dialed my phone, taking a deep breath before I held it up to my ear, waiting for her to answer. It rang, and my heart beat so hard I thought it was going to come out of my chest. It rang again, and I was so hopeful that she would pick up, but then it went to voicemail. “Hi, this is Leia. Leave me a message after the beep. I’ll get back to you when I can.”

  My breath caught my chest, and I could hardly get the words out. I could only say her name. “Leia, it’s Skye.” But I stopped realizing the machine was telling me that her voice mailbox was full, and terminated the call.

  “Well?” he asked me, looking like I should have gotten more information than I did. I felt the tears coming down my face before I could stop them. Why was her voice mailbox full? Why wasn’t she checking her messages?

  Oh my God, maybe she was dead. Maybe after all this, all I would find would be a body.

  “Skye? Are you okay?”

  I shook my head, and when my voice came out, it hardly sounded like my own, “No.” I set my head down on the table, and I cried until I felt Ellis put his hand on my back, and tell me he was going to take me home. I didn’t know where home was, but I didn’t care. I just couldn’t be here anymore.

  TEN

  SKYE

  The next morning, I felt something wet on my face. I attempted to bat it away, and was met with a soft furry creature. Opening my eyes, I saw a beautiful Irish Setter staring at me with dark brown eyes. “Hi,” I greeted him, and received another round of kisses in return. I sat up on what was an old sofa with an afghan thrown over me. I wondered who had made it. Suddenly, I realized I didn’t know who made it because I didn’t know where I was. I didn’t even remember how I got there. And, while that sometimes wasn’t out of the ordinary, this time something didn’t feel right. I rubbed my forehead, feeling another pounding headache coming on. Two hangovers in a week? I was on a roll. I heard someone whistling from another room, and I wrapped the afghan around my shoulders as I shuffled over into what I guessed was the kitchen.

  Ellis stood with his back to me, in nothing but pajama bottoms. I looked at the roughness of his body, all hard angles. He was built.

  “Morning,” I said, as I attempted to wipe the drool off of my mouth. I probably looked like an absolute disaster, and here was Ellis looking perfectly statuesque. He turned around, and I got a full frontal view, as well. It was even better than the back. His pecs were well-defined, and he had a six pack that those guys in magazines would die for.

  “Eggs?” he asked, as he held a skillet in his hands.

  “That would be great.” I sat down at the table, and noticed that there was already a huge glass of water, and some aspirin sitting next to it.

  “I figured you could use it.”

  “You know me so well already.” Neither of us laughed. I just don’t think either of us were ready to. We certainly weren’t together for light circumstances, and I needed to remember that. As much as I considered jumping Ellis’s bones, I had to push those feelings aside. This wasn’t just another guy I could screw around with. He knew my sister, and now it seemed like he knew me.

  He sat down across from me, and immediately dug in, chugging down a glass of what looked like apple juice before I had even lifted my fork. “How did you sleep?”

  “I guess okay. I passed out, didn’t I?”

  He nodded, swallowing some eggs. “Kind of. After that call with your sister, you weren’t really with it anymore. I hope it’s okay that I brought you back here. I tried to check your phone to see if you had a hotel reservation or anything, but it was dead. It’s charging over there on the counter, by the way. Somebody’s been calling you.”

  I ambled over to my phone, hoping that maybe Leia had called me back, but, instead, it was Sloan and my mom checking in on me. Sloan’s boyfriend, Jordan, had just won some sort of huge fight, and he was talking about taking her on a cruise. She was excited, but I didn’t have the heart to call her back. Not yet.

  “Boyfriend?”

  “No, I don’t have one of those,” I said, brushing it off.

  “Why not?”

  I turned and raised an eyebrow at him, his fork still in hand, and still totally shirtless. What was it about him that pulled me into him so quickly? I couldn’t figure it out. “I don’t know. Telling people about your missing sister kind of kills the dinner conversation. I don’t typically make it past the first date.”

  His eyebrows came together. “So, you don’t tell people about her?”

  I took a deep breath as I set my phone back down the counter. It wasn’t fully charged yet. “No. I mean, h
onestly, you’re the first person I talked to at length about her, except the therapist my parents hired when she went missing. We all went to therapy, always for Leia. At first, it was to try to get her to be better, and then it was because she had gotten worse.”

  “You sound like you resent her.” He certainly was honest.

  I slipped back into the kitchen chair, and started drinking the water he had poured for me. There were still hash browns on my plate, but there wasn’t any ketchup on the table, and that was the only way I liked to eat them.

  “Missing something?”

  “Ketchup? I know that’s like the worst thing to say to a cook, but I love it on hash browns.”

  He smiled at me, and it was warm, something that I always thought had be reserved for people you had been friends with forever. “You’re not offending me. I should have known.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s how Leia used to eat them.”

  I didn’t respond.

  “Did you know that?”

  “I don’t remember.

  “Oh, well, let me grab it for you,” he offered, as he stood up from the table, and reached into the refrigerator behind him. The kitchen was small. I was surprised he could really move around in here and cook. As I looked back down to the living room, I realized the whole cabin must be small.

  “Is it just you here? I mean, do you live by yourself?”

  “Yeah, just me and Chester. I guess you met him this morning. Sorry about that, he usually occupies the couch while I cook. He’s outside on the back porch right now. He loves this chilly weather.”

  I smiled. “You don’t seem like the type to have a dog.”

  “I don’t like to be alone.”

  Neither did I. The nights were the worst, but, if there was someone in my bed with me, the nightmares seemed to fade away. I didn’t think about the ambulance that they took her away in, or the way she screamed at me. Now, I had to think about how her journal said she wanted to end my life. I would never truly get away from the nightmares; no matter how hard I tried.