Caustic Page 5

  “So, I did a little digging, last night and this morning. There’s a couple other people that we used to hang out with at the institution. One in particular, an older guy. I still had his number, so I called him. He said he might have some information about her.”

  My heart stopped in my chest. Why had we been sitting here having such a mundane conversation when he had such important information? What else was he hiding from me?

  “When can we go? I can be ready in like five minutes.”

  “Well, actually, I think you’re going to want your clothes, which are in your car, back at the restaurant. And, also, I need to prepare you. Frank is not well. He’s a schizophrenic, so whatever information he thinks he might have, it might not be valid anyway. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

  I nodded. “Fine. But I want to get to him as soon as possible.”

  He finished the last bit of food on his plate, and stood up taking his dish in the sink. “Just leave your stuff there. I’ll get dressed, bring Chester in, and then we can go. You can change at the restaurant in the ladies room. Unless you want a shower?”

  How gross was it that I decided to say no? But, for some reason, showers didn’t matter. Nothing did when there was information about my sister on the line.

  ELEVEN

  SKYE

  After I changed at the restaurant, we hit the road. Ellis drove an old Jeep that he said would be better on our trek. “He kind of lives off the grid. Like I said, Frank is a little unusual.”

  “Are you telling me that we’re going off-roading to see a guy who may or may not believe in aliens?”

  He turned and gave me a stern look. “Mental illness isn’t funny. It sucks, trust me I know.”

  It was also genetic, but I didn’t tell him that. If my sister was insane, there is an excellent chance that I was crazy, too. It had been something that had plagued my mind since the minute she went dark. Whatever happened to one, happened to the other. That was just the way the twins worked, but I didn’t feel like I could tell him that. Not yet, anyway.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “Yes you did, but it’s okay. And, actually, if anyone is truly certifiable out of the people that I used to hang around with, Frank is it. Yes, he has a lot of conspiracy theories. You’ve been warned.”

  I nodded. “Got it. I promise to keep my mouth shut. Besides, he doesn’t even know me, so you ask the questions.”

  He thumbed over his shoulder towards the back of the Jeep. “There’s a hoodie back there. I’d like if you wore it. Put the hood up, and wear sunglasses.”

  “Are you serious?”

  He looked at me like he was judging me. “Do you know what it’s like to see you? Especially for someone who’s not mentally capable of understanding that you’re not Leia? He might tell us that she’s dead, or that she got abducted, or that she lives in his basement. You don’t want him seeing you, and making up stories just because you’re there.”

  He had a point. It was the same thing I’d been doing with my whole life. I should’ve expected this. “Fine. So, I guess I can’t talk either?”

  He shook his head his eyes focused on the road. “No, that would be counterproductive.”

  “Why couldn’t he just tell you what he knew on the phone?”

  “Because then we wouldn’t come see him. I can’t imagine that he gets a lot of guests.” He turned off of the main road, and onto a dirt path that led us through the forest. The trees grew so tall here that it was like someone had turned off the sky. Ellis flipped on his headlights, and we drove in silence until finally, I saw a clearing. A small cabin or, rather, shack was in front of us. It had what looked like a metal roof with a chimney coming out of it. I wondered if there was any electricity. Something told me that Frank wasn’t the type to use any of our modern-day conveniences.

  Ellis hopped out of the Jeep, and just as I was about to get out myself, he opened the door for me, and gave me his hands. I held mine in the air for a moment; no one made gestures like this anymore, especially not to me.

  “Be careful. It’s kind of muddy.”

  I nodded as I gave him my hand, and jumped out of the vehicle. He squeezed it tightly before letting go, ascending the cinderblock stairs that were in front of the shack. He knocked on the door only once before it swung open, and a deranged-looking man was staring down at us.

  “What do you want?” he asked roughly. “I’m not buying anything! Now, get off my land.”

  Ellis pushed me, so I was behind him, only step lower. “Frank, it’s me. Ellis, remember from the psych ward? We just talked in the phone this morning. You said you had information about Leia.”

  The man’s eyes moved back and forth, like he was looking for something, but too fast to focus. He had barely any hair, and was paler than me. I guessed he didn’t go out in the sun very much. “Ellis,” he said as if he was looking for recognition within his own mind. “Yes, come in. But, were you followed?”

  “No,” Ellis said simply. “Trust me, I made sure. I know how worried you get.”

  Frank turned around and walked back into his home. “You know they’re out to get me. At any moment now, they’ll find me.”

  Ellis nodded, “Of course. We were careful. Now, you said you had information about Leia.”

  He looked me up and down. “Why is she hidden?”

  Ellis put a protective hand between us. “It’s better that way. For her and for you. Now, tell us what you know about Leia.”

  Frank shook his head like the memory had faded. “Do you want some tea? I think we should talk about this over tea.” He hustled off into what I assumed was the kitchen, as I heard him clanging pots and pans. I lowered my sunglasses and looked around, the place was full of junk. Floor-to-ceiling just completely cluttered. You could hardly walk through most of it, but I noticed the sofa off to my right. “Should we sit down?”

  Ellis shook his head without saying a word.

  “You said he was schizophrenic? Does he listen to the voices in his head?” Suddenly, I worried that we weren’t safe. Ellis made me feel protected. However, if this guy really flipped his lid, he could severely hurt one of us, or worse.

  Frank rushed out of the kitchen, holding a tray in his two hands. He set it on the coffee table, and I heard the china rattle as he shook. I wondered if years of medication had done that to him, or worse, if he had always been that way.

  “You should sit. You want to know about Leia.”

  I looked around the house once more, and, through the doorway, I could see Frank’s refrigerator. Ellis turned and walked into the living room while I slipped behind him and examined the front of it. There were pictures everywhere, and the entire thing was full. And, right in the middle, was a picture of Frank and Leia. I touched her face and remembered how much she loved to smile like that before she got sick. She looked so happy. I grabbed the photo and stuffed it into my pocket. I knew it wasn’t right, and that Frank would probably freak out about it later, but I needed something of hers. Something to tell me that I was on the right path.

  “Skye?” I heard Ellis call my name. I quickly turned around and put my sunglasses back down, making my way into the living room.

  “I’m here. Sorry, I was just looking for the bathroom. I should’ve asked.”

  Frank nodded. “What you want to know? About my Leia?”

  His Leia? I prayed that she wasn’t hidden in the basement, or in a ditch up behind his shack. Something about this man told me he was capable of becoming dangerous. “When was the last time you saw her?”

  His head snapped towards me. He recognized the voice. But then, almost as if he hadn’t noticed, he spoke in a very monotone response. “Six months ago. Before they took her.”

  Ellis said his tea down. I noticed he hadn’t drunk any of it. “Before who took her?”

  Frank’s eyes grew wide. “The government. I can’t believe you didn’t know! It’s why I live in hiding. She was here one day, and they came
and took her the next. Leia took care of me. I miss her.” He looked down at his shaking hands. My heart broke a little bit for him. Obviously, my sister had been important to him once. And he could hardly care for himself.

  “Do you know who took her? I mean, from the government?”

  I was sure the government hadn’t kidnapped my sister, but I knew I needed to feed into his fantasy in order to keep him talking.

  “No. They didn’t show their faces. Like you.”

  He pointed at me shaking his fingers he spoke. “Are you her? Are you hiding from me?”

  He stood towering over Ellis and I. Ellis stood as well, trying to calm the situation, but it was too late. Frank started screaming at me. “I know it’s you, Leia! I miss you so much. Come back to me, please. I’ll fix your brain, I know how to now.”

  Ellis took my hands, and pulled me from the living room, pushing out the front door. “Frank, it’s not like that,” he kept saying. “It’s not her. I promise.” He looked directly into my eyes, past the sunglasses, and right into me. “Go to the car. Do not come back.”

  Oh, shit. I knew that this could get ugly fast.

  But just as quickly as Frank had gotten upset and out of control, a calm came over him. “Are you Skye?”

  Ellis still had his hand on my upper arm pushing me out towards the front door, but I stopped, cemented into place. “Do you know me?”

  I took off the hood and the sunglasses, and I saw the look of shock written all over Ellis’s face. I hated to defy him when he was just trying to protect me, but somehow I knew that Frank had more information than he was telling.

  His moment of clarity continued. “You’re Leia’s sister. Did you know that she stayed with me for a little while? She helped take care of me when I ran out of my meds once. I’m out of them again, aren’t I?”

  Ellis let go of my arm, but stayed between us. “Yeah, Frank, I think you are.”

  He folded his arms and looked down at the floor, suddenly seeming like a much smaller man. “Sorry. I really can’t control myself sometimes. I’ll have to call my doctor, and get new meds. But I knew her. She’s a sweet girl.”

  I peeked over Ellis’s shoulder trying to catch Frank’s eyes. “Do you know where she is? My family is desperate to find her.”

  He nodded, but it was slow and sad. “After she stayed with me, she said she had to move on. I don’t know where she went. She left a number, and I call it sometimes just to hear her voice. But she never answers.”

  The voice mailbox… Frank must’ve been one of the people who contributed to filling it. I could tell from the darkness behind his eyes that he truly did miss her.

  “I’m so sorry she left you, Frank. Call your therapist, okay? Maybe they can help you.” I was being honest; this man needed more help than either of us could give him. His demons were darker than anything I’d ever seen, except when Leia was really bad.

  “Thanks for visiting me. And, if I hear from her, I promise I’ll tell her that you were here. I mean, if I can remember. Okay?”

  Ellis put his hand on Frank’s shoulder. “Okay.”

  We quietly slipped out the door in silence and out to the Jeep. I waited until Ellis had the engine running and turned up the music before I let the sobs overtake my body. I gazed out the window, not making eye contact with Ellis. I didn’t want him to know how unstable I felt.

  There was nothing here, just a picture and a sad man, more skeletons that Leia had left behind.

  TWELVE

  ELLIS

  We sat on the couch with Chester curled up between us. I had never been one for rules when it came to dogs, but Chester was practically family. I watched Skye as she had her fingers intertwined in his reddish hair. He seemed to calm her down after our interaction with Frank. He was a mess, clearly off his meds, and I wondered if he was going to group therapy anymore. I had never seen his house in that much of a disarray: garbage and clothing everywhere. That hallway had practically been filled with metal pieces; he must’ve been frequenting a junkyard around here. I made a mental note to go visit him more often, make sure he was taking better care of himself. He lived less than an hour away, so it was stupid for me to not help him.

  The TV was on, but I wasn’t watching it, I wasn’t quite sure if Sky was either. I had noticed she often frequented the shadows of her own mind. Sometimes, she looked so much like Leia, quiet and subdued, and yet other times she was so full of life and completely different than her sister. I never knew what to expect. Leia hated coffee, yet Skye made herself a cup at the restaurant before we left. Leia hated everything that had to do with getting up early in the morning, including coffee. I could remember her telling me once that the smell made her gag.

  “Have you seen this movie before?” Skye asked me.

  I appreciated that she was trying to make conversation. Neither of us had much to say about our day. “No. Do you know what it’s about?”

  She gave me a small smile, “I was about to ask you. Sorry, I haven’t really been paying attention.”

  I shrugged; neither had I. “So, I have to go back to work tomorrow.”

  She nodded. “Oh, right. Do you want me to go now?”

  I didn’t want her to go, part of me didn’t want her to ever leave. And Chester’s quiet breathing told me that he was just as involved with her as I was. “No, no.” It sounded more desperate than I had wanted it to. “You can definitely stay again tonight. I just wanted to let you know that I can’t really help you tomorrow.”

  I didn’t know how else I would help her at all actually. Frank was the only other person that I still kept in contact with from the institution. I didn’t know anyone else, and I didn’t know anyone that Leia would have contacted either. We were at a dead-end.

  “That’s okay, I don’t really think I’m going to find out much more here anyway. I’ll leave tomorrow morning.”

  I nodded and looked back to the movie, wracking my brain for anything I could think of that could keep her here. Any other breadcrumbs that her sister may have left. And, then I remembered I had one of her journals. She drawn a portrait of me during session one time, and she didn’t want to rip the page out, so she gave me the whole book. It was practically brand-new except for maybe ten or so pages she had written in, she assured me none of the information was private. “I have an idea. I’ll be right back,” I said, as I walked away from her, and heading into my bedroom.

  I had a box of things that I collected over the years, mementos I guess. My mother’s necklace, and a watch that my grandfather had worn. Leia’s journal was hidden with the other items in the shoebox underneath my bed.

  I pulled it out and blew off the dust; it had been a long time since I’d opened it. I carefully lifted off the cardboard box’s top, and, inside, just as I expected was Leia’s journal, sitting right on top. I picked it up and thumbed through the pages, stopping at the portrait that she had drawn of me. It really was beautiful; she had true talent. But, she hardly ever drew when we were in the hospital, only on really good days. I remembered a bad day once, when she ripped the painting off the wall that she had just made a week before, and took it into the shower with her so that all the paint would run off. It had looked like the colors were crying along with her. It was one of her darker moments that I witnessed. I got up off my knees, and traipsed back into the living room.

  “Here,” I said, as I extended the journal to her.

  Her eyes widened. “Is this hers? I mean, it looks just like the one that I have.”

  I nodded. “I don’t know why I didn’t think about it until now. And there’s not much written in it, but maybe you’ll recognize something.”

  Her eyes softened at me, those deep green pools starting to trust me. That was dangerous, for her and for me. But I wanted to throw caution to the wind; I wanted Skye to stay.

  I sat down next to her, but she didn’t open it. Our thighs met, and a surge of lust ran through my veins. I felt all the things for her I hadn’t ever felt for Leia, as much as
she wanted me to. Something was different about Skye, and I wanted more.

  But I couldn’t have her. It wasn’t right. And I was dangerous; I would hurt a girl like her. I couldn’t help myself.

  She watched me, like I was an animal ready to pounce, like she wasn’t sure what I might do next. The truth was I didn’t either.

  She sighed heavily, “I kind of don’t want to open it.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t want to know more. I mean I know I need to, in order to find her. But at the same time, I don’t want to know what she’s thinking. Her thoughts are so dark in some of these.”

  “Yeah all of ours were. It was just part of being there.”

  “But you’re different,” she insisted. She ran her hand over my thigh.

  “No, I’m not. And you need to realize that.”

  Her eyes told me she disagreed.

  “We need to set some rules.”

  “Rules?” she inquired.

  “Yeah, rules. Like how we can’t do whatever it is you want to do.”

  “What? I don’t understand anything you’re saying.” She cocked her head at me, it was cute in an innocent way.

  “I need to stay away from you Skye, for both our benefits.”

  “Have it your way.” She huffed, looking annoyed. She opened the journal and started skimming the pages.

  “I’ll just leave you here. You can look at it on your own. I’ll see you in the morning.” I slapped my thigh so that Chester would come with me, but he simply lifted his head, and set it back down on her lap. “Looks like you got a friend.”

  She stared at the journal was she patted him absentmindedly. “Oh yeah. He can stay with me if it’s all right with you.”

  I nodded, “Sure.” Traitor, I thought. She doesn’t want us.

  I wanted her to ask me to stay too, but she didn’t, so I retreated back to my room. Another night alone, didn’t feel so hard.